What is Financial Coaching? Money Coaching? What does a Coach actually do? Or more to the point, what can coaching actually do for me? I’ve identified 5 C’s in the financial coaching work I do to help people transform their relationship with money – 6 if you also include ‘coaching’!
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the newSocrates
Change is the point of all my financial coaching work. You haven’t reached out because you are scoring yourself a 10/10 on your money relationship or financial situation. You’ve come because “something” needs to change. You want different results to the ones you currently have. By repeating the same patterns you create the same results, you’re not happy with the results and therefore want and need “something” to change.
In the same way we don’t get a personal trainer, yoga teacher or sports coach because we are fit, flexible and 100% healthy and happy, we go because we want to improve in those areas and need some support getting there.
Financial coaching is the same.
But weirdly it’s not always about the money. The change we often want is in our lifestyle, our time, the freedom and choices money brings and our relationships with our money, ourselves and those we love.
Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot surviveDalai Lama
Coaching styles are vastly different, dependent upon the nature of the coach.
Mine start and end with compassion. We are who we are, doing what we do, for the reasons that we do. There should be (and will be) no judgement. We don’t judge our children when they are learning something new or for a less than ideal decision they make or for the position they find themselves in.
Compassion isn’t just an emotion, it is accompanied by a strong desire to take action, a motivation to help. So compassion goes well beyond empathy. A compassionate coach will be driven to support, cheerlead and celebrate in your change.
The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and growTony Schwartz
But it’s a change in behaviour we want, a growth. Compassion whilst motivating in itself isn’t’ enough to create lasting change. We need to be challenged to interrupt the thoughts, belief systems and patterns quietly running in the background. Challenge is not telling you what to do but is questioning how you could do differently? Its not telling you to try harder, but questioning why you place your boundary where you do. It’s not to re-write you, but draw awareness to the the parts of the script that aren’t serving your bigger goals and the change you want to see.
Challenge gives you space to question yourself and reflect, so that you can come up with your own answers, new thoughts and when coupled with compassion, a safe space to try something different.
A ship in a harbour is safe, but that’s not what a ship is built forUnknown
We need to find courage to create change. It can take courage for some of us to even look at ourselves or our financial situation. It takes courage to ask for help and courage to try something new. It takes courage to face things that may feel fearful or just plain uncomfortable.
We learn and grow when at the boundary of our comfort zone, and to play there and beyond takes courage.
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existingAlbert Einstein
Curiosity brings us to solutions and further questions. In financial coaching terms, being curious lets us explore why we have our money habits, why we think or feel what we do about our value, being wealthy, rich, worthy and how we can change these thoughts and behaviours to better support what we want from our finances and money relationship. It provides an opportunity to learn something new, find a different answer to a problem or hear and learn a new perspective.
Being curious has benefits beyond learning and growth within coaching as studies have also shown it can also strengthen relationships and make us happier – which are two more bonuses that may go someway to explaining why financial coaching has benefits in our other relationships too.
I’m curious…would you add anything else?
Time to Change your Money Relationship?