How to Make Up with your Money

What if you could ‘make up’ with your money? What if you could swap stress, anxiety, impulsiveness or just not feeling you are good with it for confidence? Imagine if you could improve your money relationship so you could enjoy it, use it well and feel positive. Well you can.

Your relationship with money didn’t start as an adult and you are not doing anything “wrong” with it. The way we are with money reflects what we feel, think and believe – and many of these beliefs you learned as a child from parents, grandparents and peers.

Getting curious about your own money beliefs, your money story and deciding which of those beliefs you want to keep, which to let go of and which new ones to introduce is that start point to making up.

Grab a cuppa, a quiet spot, pen and paper and start these 3 lists.

The mind is everything. What you think, you become

Buddha

What went Wrong?

Money tangles itself up with our own beliefs about ourselves. Are we valuable, good enough, deserving, worthy, to be be trusted?

• Explore the thoughts, feelings and memories you have around money from childhood.
• What were you told about money? About rich people? About wealth? About yourself?
• Did you experience lack of money or scarcity, or experience loss of people or money?
• Do those thoughts and emotions come up for you today with money?
• Do you see any connection between how you are today with money and those memories and experiences?
• Is your language with money more can’t than can? Is it negative or positive?
• Get really curious and download the family money tree

What went Right?

Habits, like money, are neither good or bad. In some way or other those behaviours are helping you.

• Explore what you gain from your existing money relationship. For example if you impulsively spend, there is an upside to this too. What is it for you?
• Also look for the times and moments of money success you have had. Perhaps you can’t save but you have a great career and successfully earn money. Perhaps not having enough has driven you to be creative, adaptable, ingenious, savvy or entrepreneurial. Perhaps you fear looking at the money but when you have done it you’ve organised things well and felt better. Maybe you’re great with the work budget, just not your own.
• Seek those successes and positives and write them down.

How to Make up with your Money

You now have two lists, one starting to understand the beliefs you hold around money and the downsides and another highlighting the positives and benefits. So now look forwards.

• What do you want or need to tell yourself about money instead?
• How would your life look and feel if you believed that?
• What can you do more of that would make you feel more positive or confident
• If you couldn’t fail and had no fears what would you do differently?

What you think, you become. You’re in charge of your thoughts and beliefs, and you have everything you need already to change your money relationship and make up with your money.