We talk about our relationships, sex and politics but are we so open about our money? And more specifically about our struggles with money? Money can be such a Taboo topic that we can end up facing our financial fear alone when everyone around us seems to have it sorted. So who do we talk to when we do feel anxious, out of control or stressed about it?
Financial fear isn’t only for those without money. I speak to hundreds of people with differing levels of fear, anxiety, stress, shame or guilt and there is no correlation between whether they have it or not.
The commonality is not how much money we have (or have had) but how our experience with money has been.
Emotional and Practical sides to Money
There are two sides to money, emotional and practical. The two are intertwined because how we interpret and understand Money, its value, our value is often shaped through experiences in our early childhood years.
These experiences and how we interpreted them as a child gives money our own personal context. Those feelings and thoughts create our beliefs and these beliefs limit us and in turn shape our habits and behaviours. We can’t easily change those habits without addressing the thoughts and feelings that drive them.
Overcoming Financial Fear
The first step is facing it. And believe me, when the feeling behind finances is a negative one, that single step is one of the hardest, but once you’ve done it the rest of the journey becomes easier.
The second step is exploring it. This is the part I like best when working with people, this is where the “Aha” and “Lightbulb” moments come. When we suddenly get why we do what we do with money.
The third step is creating change. By challenging the limiting beliefs and helping you re-create new ones. You have to want change in order to make space for it.
And the last step is staying on track, accountable and giving the new habits and skills time to bed in.
You are not alone
Whilst we look around at peoples lifestyles we assume all is well. They seem to have nice things, they show us their houses, pets and belongings. This doesn’t mean all is well. Especially as we know no one is really talking about their real experience iwht money.
I received this message from a lady whose life on social media looks amazing
“I don’t know what to do, I’m £60,000 in debt and raising my little girl on my own. I’m scared”
and this one from another
“I’m afraid I’ll lose my money. I work hard and have a family, investments and a lovely house, but I’m scared that it will all end and I’ll lose it”
Totally different money situation, same feeling. This is why I’ve created a free online monthly Money Date so that you can face your finances fearlessly and know that you are not alone.
Our feelings around Money, and therefore our thoughts and in turn our habits can be changed. I changed it for me, for my children. I help my coaching clients shine a light on theirs and change theirs. We are our own greatest financial influence and we have everything within us we need to change.
No-one has to face financial fear alone.
Additional Resource: If you are currently experiencing high levels of debt and need support sorting this out today, Money Helper is a great resource for free debt advice.
Start your Money Change with Financial Coaching