Are you letting your “inner child” manage your money and hold the purse strings? The answer is probably yes.
Our Money Relationship is an unconscious one
We believe that our relationship with money is conscious, but almost all of our beliefs around money stem from unconscious thoughts and the experiences and lessons we had and heard as a child.
Psychology tells us these beliefs are mostly formed by the age of seven and often inherited from our parents and childhood experience, who in turn inherited it from theirs.
For me it was the phrase ‘Money doesn’t grow on trees’ that determined many of my adult decisions and shaped how I interacted with my money. The monthly ‘Making ends Meet’ I watched as a child placed fear as the dominant emotion driving my behaviour.
It’s never quite that simple. Layered on top of this was guilt and discomfort when money either increased or if I spent when I ‘shouldn’t’ have. As a result these experiences & feelings wrote my money story and re-fueled the self limiting belief; that I wasn’t valuable.
Feelings, Thoughts, Habits
Feelings inform our thoughts, which in turn shape our habits. Our habits reinforce our emotions and the cycle continues. When we bring questions and awareness into the equation we can then begin to break the cycle.
When we grow older these experiences are compounded. What the causes of our self sabotaging behaviour and money habits are becomes less clear. What is clear is that it is never really about the money.
Would you let a seven year old loose on your shopping? Would you put them in charge of managing your money ? If you’ve not taken time to reflect on the ‘how and why’ you do what you do then the answer is yes. You may already be aware of phrases that you heard from parents and grandparents. Do you still believe them? Do you want to still believe them ?
Next week I’ll share how you can build your Family Money Tree and identify those key influencers and take steps to start to change them, so your inner child no longer controls your purse strings.