Whilst I’d love to say I’ve always been successful with money, I can’t, because I haven’t. But I am now.
I started adult life as a single Mum, emotionally, physically and financially responsible for my beautiful tiny Daughter. It was tough, it felt shameful at times. With just one income and so much financial responsibility I gradually developed a fear of the bills, shame for not having enough and guilt for not being able to give to my family all they deserved. So I hid my head in the sand and felt out of control.
Making this mistake once was one thing, but I repeated it without understanding why. Being financially under pressure can lead us to make poorer decisions in other areas, I made a poor decision and choose a new partner who valued me as little as I valued myself. So before long I was single again, this time with two children.
Our relationship with money often reflects our relationship with ourselves. Mine did.
My children drove me to raise us all up. Luckily I’ve always been great at making money, maybe because I was driven by necessity, we really needed it. I learned so much about budgeting, spending, increasing my income, being frugal, inventive, savvy, saving and investing and even when times were really tough, they never went without.
But I never addressed my own quiet, dark feeling of being worthless. This showed up repeatedly in my relationship with money from sabotaging my income, hiding from the uncomfortable and refusing to spend on me.
So I drew a line in the sand that I’d been hiding my head in and spent the time investing in myself with time, money and attention. I’ve learnt we are not defined by our financial situation and we have everything within us to change it. I learned that my net worth directly mirrored by self-worth. That by valuing myself I attracted valuable opportunities.
I’m now happily re-marries with 3 children, all unique, all loving and all financially independent. I got to know myself and the emotions and unconscious experiences driving my financial and personal decisions. Now I drive my decisions, they are not driven by my past.
It so clear to me now, I wish I’d been able to reach back to my younger self and share with her what I know now. Life doesn’t let us do that though, so if I can help you today, to change your relationship with your money so its easy, comfortable and you are the one influencing the outcomes, not your emotions and past experience, then I’d be honoured.
I create a safe confidential coaching space, free from judgement, shame or repercussion where we work together so you too can transform your relationship with money.